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It’s pitiful how little I have to say.

Fuck everything. I want out.

Watching the sun rise with my dog. Beautiful day even if it wasn’t January.

tissie:

that boy needs therapy

My baby looks like a little cashew.

[Flash 10 is required to watch video]

Funny how something so silly can make me so happy

I’m sick. I’m on vacation. And my husband is at work. Fuck yeah!

That awkward moment where you begin to wonder whether your husband even likes you.

prettyflyforaredspy:

star-e-skies:

THANK YOU.

who the fuck even came up with this

Why being a girl isn't working out for me:

Body: Oh, guess what time of the month it is!
Me: Please, god, no--
Ovaries: ALL SYSTEMS GOOOOOOOO!!!
Brain: I quit. i quit. kittens and cupcakes and no one loves me. oh my god salty snacks i am furious 
Me: Please, guys, calm down--
Face: TIME TO RUIN EVERYTHING YOU HAVE EVER LIKED ABOUT ME. I'M GROWING MOUNTAINS, BITCHES. 
Brain: And now I'm ugly! shbdksdnksbn
Torso: Time to practice labor. cramp this bitch up. GO GO GO GO GO GO 
Me: STOP IT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! 
Stomach: lol clothes cant fit you anymore. you are bloated. you are now a balloooooooon!
Me: I hate you all
Brain: I KNOW EVERYONE HATES ME I AM SO DEPRESSED. we need to procreate. 
Face: Lol, i'm not done yet. 
Uterus: what did i ever do to deserve this? 
Brain: you just wait uterus. they're going to make you hold a baby for like 9 months straight. 
Uterus: You mother fuckers. 
Torso: CONTRACT! 
Me: I quit being female, I am now a llama. 
Brain: Me gusta.